The passing of time

Whenever birthdays, the new year, or anniversaries role around I start thinking about the passing of time. Especially as I get older, times seems to slowly start going faster. Maybe it's because I have fewer novel life experiences as I get older or that I am not particularly looking forward to getting older as much as I used to. It seems when every month and year roles around it seems to suprise me. One thing that really changed my perception of time was graduating college. All of a sudden it's just one big endless summer and the year just all blends together.

How much of our lives do we really control?

I was navel gazing today and thinking about how much of our lives do we really control. My current job, living situation, health, etc is somewhat predictable given my location of geographic birth, early interests, economic circumstances, etc.

I then thought what would have made it different? If I had been raised in a hunting and gathering tribe in Papua New Guinea and then let off the bus, in the same place, with the same money and posessions on the particular day that I finished college I doubt I would have wound up in nearly the same place as I am now.

Which brings me to my point. That is the information you have access to is everything. Just look at people in North Korea, they get controlled media, they live with the knowledge that any act of disobidience will lead to a horrible death, etc. If I knew how to build a spaceship or what the price of some stocks would be in ten years the outcome of my life might be far different.

I think what overall this means is that it is important to control the information one pays attention to and chooses to believe. I therefore thank the dear reader of this blog for allowing me to add to your understanding.

Are friends too much work these days?

Lately I've discovered that friends are too much work. Being married, I can just hang out with my wife and have a great time. It's tough to be bothered by people who only care about you a little. So much so that you have to work to get on their schedule and even if you do they just wind up flaking most of the time. Why even bother. I am not a drinker which makes it even more difficult. When you get together, what do you do? No drinking? It must be serious or something. Athletics seems to be a common shared passion but usually the people who I'd go hiking with are way way more in shape than I am. Some people tried kickball but that's just too much dedication.

One of the things I have tried is joining clubs and interest groups. It bores me though. That and I meet people, get to like them a little and then never see them again. That happens all the time.

When I was younger and single I built up a huge list of "friends". There was always something to do with them, which usually involved dating or trying to meet ladies in one way or another. Now with the meeting women angle gone I just couldn't care less. I still go out but only for the music and to say hi to people I've known for a long time.

I ocassionaly get invited to parties but I always go home feeling empty. I have a lot of shallow conversations and don't really like anybody enough or share enough interests to really make a connection. It would be a lot of fun to get in a conversation about high-energy physics, biological systems, economics or whatever but nobody cares.

I even tried MMORPGs and found myself, totally, completely, utterly bored. I couldn't belive in it enough to waste the amount of time that it seems they want you to waste in the game. Probably a good thing.

I have tried some online community sites that meet in real life and have had mixed results. It's better than nothing and it's probably about the best thing I've found. Work, family and the dearly beloved wife seem to be about it. This problem bothers me less than it used to because the company I work for is growing and I'm enjoying time spent with those I work with.