Empathy is a difficult skill - Part 1

Being like a lot of geeks, I interact better with machines than with people. However, Over the last couple of years I've made some good progress in the social skills and empathy department. What made me think about this was watching an engineer I know get frustrated about not being able to sell one of his products. He said, "Why can't they see the benefits of my product? It's better than the alternative they're considering! They must be stupid!". This of course was all his opinion, right or wrong. Being an engineer, I also tend to revel in things "working". When they work, no anxiety or person's opinions, fears, or doubts can keep them from working.

However, when it comes to interacting with other people there is often a lot that people won't say, either out of fear of embarrassment or of a time wasting fruitless confrontation. For the un-empathetic, there is nothing to be learned by interacting with people. The only reason to interact is to convince, scold, or browbeat to one's point of view. This tends to repulse people and achieve the opposite of what was intended. To be empathetic however one has to accept and value other people. A lack of empathy often comes from despising other people or desperately needing their acceptance.

To be continued...

Excercising. It's not that bad

I worried about my back today, so I did some excercising. It's amazing what kind of silly little thoughts I get when I think about excercising. I think, oh I'm gonna smell afterwords. I'll get hot. I'll get bored. I then though about back pain and the choice between back pain and being hot sweaty, and bored and choose excercise.